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PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:31 am 
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As Amanda Clark, 33, a caterer from Boston, walked down the aisle toward her fiancé, wearing a $15,000 gown and a 7-carat ring, she felt nothing but dread. I don't want to go through with this, she thought, with each step toward the altar.
Just two hours before the ceremony, Clark had gone for a dip in the ocean with her two sisters. When it was time to get ready, Clark wouldn't budge. "I couldn't get out of the water," she says. "It was like knowing you have a work meeting but you don't want to go."


http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/did- ... y-2477252/

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I have a girlfriend that told me this exact scenario. She knew she did not want to do it but did it anyway because all the people were there.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 12:21 pm 
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If I had my way a wedding would be a simple affair along the lines of a birthday party and we'd save the big party for the 20th anniversary. Too many people are more interested in the wedding than in the marriage.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 12:30 pm 
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Agreed. If i ever get married again. There will not be anyone there but me and that person. I had a very small first wedding too.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:40 pm 
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I heard an interview not long ago of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore talking about what has kept their marriage alive when so many expected them to divorce by now, and so many similar Hollywood couples don't make it. They made a wonderful observation that bears repeating:

Quote:
We didn't look forward to getting married, we looked forward to being married!"


It's not about how many guests, what size ring, how elaborate a cake, how expensive the wedding dress is, or what exotic honeymoon you have planned, it's your attitude in how you approach marriage, or even life for that matter.

My marriage has certainly had its rocky moments, those times when a couple is so out of sync with one another that it seems nearly impossible to reconnect, that you both went into it with entirely different expectations of what the other would do when life drastically changed (eg arrival of a baby) and cannot fathom reaching a compromise, and that if life was going to continue the way it was that it was better to walk away from the person we both considered a soulmate rather than face unending pain from that person. Were it not for the absolute unshaken truth that we both hold to our core that we were meant for one another and that no one alive could love either of us more, we probably wouldn't have made it. Only knowing that no other choice in a mate would fight harder to get a relationship back on track, to stay together and work it out no matter how much it hurt right then, is what kept us trying to work things out when they got bad. In those darkest moments, it occurred to me that that is how so many marriages end - at some point almost everyone faces that kind of pain in a relationship, if it's any kind of a deep connection, and without the unwavering belief that you're worse off without that person than with them, I could see how easy it would be for a couple to give up and call it quits.

We do our children a disservice to make light of the strength, endurance, understanding, communication, honesty, compassion, wisdom, tenacity, stubbornness, and forgiveness that is required to make any worthwhile relationship, be it romantic or friendship, withstand the test of time, personality changes, and life circumstances. Disney certainly can't cover all of that in a 2 hour time frame...I think it's left to us parents to lead by good example of having healthy relationships and trying to impart [however much they will absorb] of what we've learned through experience. And point out the misconceptions presented in pretty Disney movies rather than letting them be brainwashed.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:44 pm 
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Great post SC! Agreed. I never was a big wedding person.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 9:55 am 
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I read an interview with Demi and Ashton, where one of them said (and I'm paraphrasing here), that when an argument occurs and one of the people win, what does that get you? The thought that you are right and a bed with one person in it and really nothing else!

When I got married, we left work at noon, went to my on-base abode that was at the time devoid of furniture 'cuz it was being shipped from Turkey, and got married in our BDU's and combat boots. Then we went back to work. As we were standing in front of the preacher-woman getting ready to say our vows, a strong though went through my brain that this was a mistake and to not do it. I didn't listen and I should have.

He left me less than 2 years later. Have I learned from my blunder? Yep. I haven't gotten married again and when my intuition pokes its head into my thoughts, I tend to listen a little harder now.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 12:28 pm 
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Uh, I did not have the feeling when getting married. But I should have. I noticed a few things a few days after the wedding though that I did not expect. My intuition totally failed me.

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